Just when you think you’re invisible.. and you can get away with heading straight to your room that hasn’t been touched in weeks, not make or return phone calls, live strictly inside your head-- BAM, you’re caught! Well, I was caught. Deep down, I knew that was not who I am, who I aspire to be or who I want to be known as.
It has come to my attention that I haven’t been showing up as myself to the people that I love and care about the most. Isn't this always the case though? You know from past experiences that your family and true friends will love and accept you even when you're the ugliest version of yourself. Still, that doesn’t make it fair to them, no matter what’s going on upstairs.
It was so obvious to those people around me & now that I can look back, the time that I wanted for myself lingered a little bit too long. I needed to be told that I wasn’t being “me”. "Time's up! Look at what you're doing! I feel like I don't even know you anymore." My sister & my roommate specifically are great about being honest with me—God love them. Talk about disappointing others. I never ever want to hear my sister say that she feels like she doesn't know me, or feels like she can't reach out to me- ever again. I want to be the one that she calls at 2am when she has something that she needs to get off her chest & she knows that I'll listen, even if I'm in a deep sleep and have to wake up at 5am. I am that sister. I am that friend. But I wasn't being her.
And the light bulb went off, yet again. Every single day, people are counting on you.
People look to you for the light.
You do matter.
Your presence, your energy, your laughter- just, you. You bring so much to the table and you don't even realize it.
You give people hope. Even when you think no one notices you.
Every single day. People do care.
You are not alone.
We are all in this t o g e t h e r. Figuring it out. One day at a time.
Show up the way that you want others to show up for you.
I'm working on modeling the behavior that I also want to see out of others..